hello all! i'm currently writing this blog post during the beginning of my wedding week! my wedding is this friday, september 5th 2025! overall, this week feels pretty daunting if i'm being honest. i have so much on my plate i have to get done really before thursday and im so anxious about it all. i'm writing this right now in between homework assignments because i'm working ahead in some of my classes so i dont have anything to do next weekend. right now, i'm trying not to think about all the things i need to get done for the wedding. i have to go through my decor and take inventory and see if we're missing anything, i have to find all my jewelry because some of it's missing, i have to finish my wedding binder with all the information the vendors and my coordinator will need. and im so terrified the day is going to go wrong and thats it, i dont get a redo, we spent thousands on a day i'll never want to think about again. honestly the whole wedding thing is terrifying the closer i get to it. im also just scared of being judged. im not planning on shaving my underarms and i have my pronouns tatted on my chest, i'm not exactly the kind of bride you see in magazines. i know a lot of our family isnt exactly as progressive as we are and i just really dont want to deal with any of that on my wedding day. we're also like basiclly broke with all the wedding bills having been paid now. thats kind of taking up a lot of stress right now which is just piling onto the wedding stress. i keep having moments throughout the day where i look at the date and i realize "holy shit my wedding, the most important day of my life thus far, is in X days". right now its in 4 days! holy shit. honestly the anxiety is kind of making it hard for me to eat, which is stressing me out because what if my dress doesnt fit anymore. oh my god this is so much stress. moving on from the wedding so i dont lose my mind, i started the fall semester last monday! that's going good, i'm pretty on top of my assignments and i've refined my notetaking system better than ever (not to brag or wtv). its kind of hard to focus in class with everything going on though. hoppefully once the wedding is over ill be back to normal. im really excited for my human sexuality class this semester, ive taken classes with this professor before for other gender studies classes and shes amazing. im also interested to apply the class concepts to my own research outside of class. lately, my days have been pretty unstructured aside from class, just doing what needs to be done when i can. i cant wait for the wedding to be done just so i can have my brain back tbh. im also scared though that im not going to savor it. i want to focus this week on grounding myself and really taking in the final moments of my bridal era. anyway, thats all i;ve got for now! thx for listening to be vent <3